April 19, 2024

Overcome Self-Defeating Thoughts by Niels Johnson-Lameijer

Getting rid of negative thoughts is a struggle for many people. In order to effectively eradicate these undesired thoughts it’s good to understand where they originate. The energy behind most negative thoughts is FEAR! Fear is at the root of all blocks and the number one reason for our negative self talk.
We have two main kinds of fears that prevent us from living our fullest potential, fear of failure and fear of rejection. Fear of failure usually comes from a time when our natural curiosity and urge to explore was being cut short. We notice this fear every time we think about of taking any kind of risk involving the danger of losing time, money or emotion. The fear of rejection mostly originates from conditional love which manifests in the fear of being criticized, and motivates us to focus on gaining other’s approval.
Be Aware and Shift. These are the two key ideas to balance thoughts, and to change your current reality into the reality of your choosing. The goal is to monitor thoughts and shift them when necessary. 
Strive for Balance. Try this exercise: grab a pencil and balance it between your fingers. Looking at your pencil imagine it representing the balance of your thoughts. When negative thoughts immerge your pencil will start tipping to the left side and be out of balance. You assignment is the counter it with a positive thought (for example, a 10K run you completed in a great time) to make sure the pencil gets back into the balanced position.
Three Successes. One hour after you get up, write down three things that already went right for you that day (good breakfast, returned phone calls, etc.) During lunch, review the list and replace your earlier successes with additional successes from later in the day. Repeat this at least two more times the same day.

Remember! Think about what makes you feel good and what changes your mood. For example, carry something in your pocket that reminds you of a memory. Load your favorite music on your iPod so you can play it anytime. Stick Post-It notes with personal messages in places you see frequently.
 
Niels is an internationally certified Executive Coach and Life Mastery Coach. He guides companies and passionate individuals toward raising productivity and realizing the life of their dreams. For more information visit www.nielsjl.com or contact Niels directly at niels@nielsjl.com or call 805.617.3513.