April 21, 2024

How to NOT Sabotage your Healthy Living Efforts by Bob Choat

Are You Sabotaging Yourself When it Comes to Exercising?

So, you joined a gym or discovered some new fitness routine, right?  Maybe you will do something for a week, a month or even longer and then… BAM!  You suddenly stop or start slacking off.  Even those that have gone for a longer period of time may start engaging in behavior that sabotages their fitness training.  If you are doing the same thing, you are not alone.

Each person has a self-concept of him or herself.  That concept or self-image starts from early childhood.  How you see yourself leads to the kind of actions you will take.  As you move through the years, your self-image will develop even further.  Many times, though, some people tend to get stuck with that perception of who they are from the past.  That translates into the kind of work they will engage in and what they do in all aspects of their life.

People that have a very high concept tend to take more risks and do more things that is “worthy” of that self perception.  The person with a low self-concept will do things to match that.  They don’t believe they are worthy, even if they start to reach a certain level of success.  In fact, many have a fear of success.  That includes getting fit and looking good.  So what happens, they will do things to sabotage their efforts.  They may start to procrastinate in working out.  They will make excuses of why they can’t do this or that.

Our self-image is based on our beliefs and beliefs can be changed.  Here are a few pointers that should help you overcome your self-sabotage and create a new image:

•    Keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions just before you take certain actions.  This will help identify your beliefs and behaviors.  Make sure to include those thoughts and emotions that lead you to working out and those that lead you to making excuses.  Sometimes there are certain triggers that activate the behavior.  When you understand this, then you can remove the trigger.

•    Change your self-image by looking at all the good qualities you possess.  If you’ve won an award of any kind, remind yourself that you did.  If you have trouble with being praised, start to let praise come in.  Keep a scrapbook or binder that showcases your accomplishments.

•    Change your physiology to change your attitude about you.  Stand with your feet shoulder width apart and put your fists on your hips, kind of like a superhero would do.  And even add a smile, with your head slightly raised and cocked to the side.

•    Tell yourself that you deserve all the really good things in life.  That includes being healthy and fit.  Make it emotionally intense when you do, and again, with a smile.

•    Take continuous action, each and every day.  Surround yourself with supportive people.  Discard those that are not.

Practice each of these pointers and incorporate them into your life.  You will eventually see a new you, one that is confident, powerful and deserving of success in fitness and beyond.

This article is written by Bob Choat. As America’s #1 Mind-Body Transformation Expert and author of ‘Mind Your Own Fitness’ Bob is dedicated to help transform the mind-body fitness of the nation and beyond. He can be contacted via email: bobchoat@gmail.com and via his blog: www.bobchoat.com

Competition and Children: Healthy or Harmful? By Tanya Memme

Competition amongst our children: Is it healthy?

Recently I attended my cousins hockey game. My little cousin is 8 years old and safe to say one of the strongest players on his team. At one of his most recent hockey practices while the coach was doing skating drills, his mom noticed something. The child that came in last for that drill was made to do a round of push ups. It was very upsetting to hear this, because I knew that if my little cousin only gave even 50% effort, he will still probably finish within the top few skaters.  My question here is, are we praising results or effort? What message are we giving to our kids? I mean, maybe the slowest skater on the team was trying his absolute best but just couldn’t keep up with the rest? Making him do push ups is the quickest way for him to feel like a failure, unsuccessful, weak, and eventually give up. Why not make the kids who don’t try their best (the coach is familiar enough with each child) do a few push ups?

Upon seeing this, I started to have flashbacks from when I was in grade school. St. Elizabeth Elementary school from JK – Grade 8.  I wasn’t one of the “smartest” kids in the class and was made to feel stupid because of it. I always tried as hard as I could to get a good grade. Sometimes I did and sometimes I didn’t. I was a B/C student which was average I guess. I tried extremely hard, I studied the best I could, and was never noticed for my effort? I remember having to write out misspelled words on the chalkboard in front of the class for hours (or so it seemed.) I used to dream of getting an A in English or Geography or Math but I just wasn’t capable under the schools given teaching techniques. Then the infamous “Awards Day” would come along at the end of every year! This is where the entire school would gather in the gym to watch the same kids every year go up on stage and receive an award for being the BEST in each subject. This was always one of the days I loathed most. I felt so much “less than” every awards day because I knew my name would never be called.

As the years went by, I started to feel utterly defeated and eventually submerged myself into my dance training after school. I WAS GOOD AT DANCE AND WAS REWARDED FOR MY GOOD RESULTS! In the meantime I built up such a big block in my mind about school that I started blanking out on tests and exams in high school and eventually college. Realistically I was fully capable of passing with a good grade, but I had become conditioned to believe I was stupid and not “smart enough” to pass the test. I believed I was a failure in the past because I never “WON” an award on Awards Day and the subconscious pressure I put on myself was insane! It took me years to work through.

Since then and a solid resume of hosting many shows etc, I’ve replaced the panic with confidence and have learned to deal with it and control it. It’s just too bad it has taken so long to get to a good, solid confident place with it, but none the less still a part of who I am.

When I heard about that little boy trying his best and still made to do push ups in front of his hockey team, I Instantly realized that that little boy was ME years ago. Do we praise RESULTS or EFFORT? Not every kid is great at Math, but if they are praised for how hard they work at it, then eventually and surely they will figure out the equation with great success and enjoy the process instead of quitting.  Success comes with determination and effort. Acknowledging the little ones for these qualities and encouraging them along the way is critical. It affects everything they do and eventually WHO THEY BECOME.

Tanya Memme is the Producer/Co-Host of the Emmy nominated, A&E’s Sell This House and Sell This House Extreme.  She is a new mom, pet lover, travel enthusiastic & lifestyle expert. www.TanyaMemme.com

Are you setting a healthy example? Insight from Tanya Memme.

Tanya Memme, Producer/Co-Host of the Emmy nominated, A&E’s Sell This House and Sell This House Extreme, offers her advice how to manage the challenges of raising healthy children.



How do you set a healthy example for your child?

The only way to have a healthy, happy child is for YOU to set an example for them. At about 11 months or sooner, babies start to imitate everything they see! They want to taste the foods we eat, play with the clothing and jewelry we wear, go outside when we do etc. Without them knowing it, our lifestyle becomes theirs, because its all they see and know.  They only see the world through the experiences you set for them. With my daughter Ava, I take her on at least one outdoor excursion a day. We walk, hike, play at parks, she has music and jungle gym classes, soon to take swimming lessons etc. She loves being outside if even to play on the swings. She loves being active because I love to be active with her. When it comes to food, I try to make sure she gets fruits, veggies and a protein everyday at every meal. I NEVER eat fast food, so she doesn’t either. I love my steamer! Everyday I have either brown rice, quinoa, millet or beans cooking with little to no effort. I haven’t exposed her to juices and sugary foods or treats so when she is given them by other people, she tends to shy away from them. She doesn’t like sugary foods because her body craves the good stuff. We eat the same foods and we eat together when I’m not shooting. Its imperative to teach your kids what a vegetable, protein and a healthy fat is and what it does to the body. Education is the first and most important step to being healthy for Mom, Dad and the kids.
Instead of sugar snacks or juices, here are some healthy alternatives:
1) Banana Popsicles with protein. I love Isagenix protein and so does Ava! Take one scoop of Vanilla protein and a banana, add water and blend! Then pour into Popsicle molds.
2) Take any fruit blend it up with water, pour into ice trays and put the fruit ice cubes into a mesh soother. You can buy them at Babies R Us! I love doing this with watermelon!
3) Try vegetable juice, you might be surprised! Every morning on our walk to Whole Foods I get a green vegetable drink with a pineapple or apple juice base and pour it into Ava’s sippy cup! She loves it!
You can also use green juices as Popsicles.
4) Instead of water all the time I take herbal tea, strawberry, cherry etc…..and make iced tea! It tastes great, there’s no sugar in it and Ava loves it!

How do you broach “touchy” subjects of body image/weight loss with your child?

I believe that again, setting a good example for your child is key. Mom shouldn’t talk about herself being fat or thin, but rather talk about bring healthy and happy as an individual. Also don’t judge other women/men in front of your kids. Instead, point out the nice qualities in other people and have them focus on appreciating others as a person. This pulls focus away from body image and directs it to appreciating others in what ever shape or size they come. Kids, especially girls, get ENOUGH pressure to look a certain way, and I think its up to us as parents to make them feel good about themselves. Have plenty of outdoor activities to focus on and expose them to good healthy food. Focus on total health instead of just physical image! Let a doctor or healthcare practitioner mention a noticeable weight issue to your kids, it shouldn’t come from Mommy and Daddy especially if Mommy and Daddy also have a questionable weight issue. Personally, I’ve never been seen as “skinny” and in the past I won Miss World Canada and now have a wonderful career on TV! I tell teenage girls that all the time.

What have you found works best to encourage healthy eating in your child?

The absolute best way to encourage healthy eating to your child is to make the healthy food taste good! There are many recipe books or online publications that give GREAT ideas to spruce up whole foods and make them burst in flavor! Its best for you to eat the same foods and eat with your child. Again, nothing encourages healthy eating more than the example you set for them.

Do you ever feel guilty about taking time away for your own workout? How do you overcome this?

Yes, and its something all moms go through for a while. I also travel a lot, so when I’m home I spend as much time as possible with my daughter Ava, and the thought of leaving for “ME” time is sometimes heartbreaking!  Im a better mom because I’m a happy mom. Taking time to work out or do something for me is medicine for the soul and is necessary for all mom and dads.
You’ll be happier and so will your kids!

What have you found is the best way to improve self esteem in your child/young people in your life?

Kids get enough negativity outside of the house so the last thing they need is to hear it from their Mom and Dad. I often give motivational speeches to kids and teens and I tell mom and dads to support anything your child finds important to them, even if its the last thing you want to do! Accept them for who they are. I learned this from personal experience. At 11years old I told my dad I wanted to be an actress in Hollywood. As I’m sure this was the last thing he wanted to hear, he and my mom supported me 100%. They helped me set small goals and reach them to get to the big ones. I felt very confident in myself and believed I could do anything. My mom and dad taught me how to work hard, set goals, and believe in myself. They came to every dance recital, every school play and fashion show, every pageant. They encouraged me to strive for my dreams with confidence knowing that along the way they would always be there to catch me if I fell.

Tanya Memme is the Producer/Co-Host of the Emmy nominated, A&E’s Sell This House and Sell This House Extreme.  She is a new mom, pet lover, travel enthusiastic & lifestyle expert. www.TanyaMemme.com